Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Scott Watches WWE Smackdown: Great American Bash (July 3, 2012)

  • Kane lit the grill with his fire magic. It's really bizarre to me that during a match he will do things like a clothesline instead of just setting motherfuckers on fire, but this was cute anyway.
  • Alberto Del Rio harasses immigrants. Outstanding. Also going in this column would be the fact that it probably upset a bunch of white people. "How dare they!" And Sheamus getting his skull slammed under the hood of a car. Fuck yes. This segment was PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, you dweeb ass motherfuckers. It ain't goddamn Chikara or BRITISH CHAIN WRESTLING~!~!~!! Also Sheamus was cut. Blood is coming back into fashion.
  • Christian vs Cody Rhodes was just fine and the clean finish was nice. Booker T was godawful on commentary this match though.
  • Dolph Ziggler vs Alex Riley was basically a Wrestling Challenge match, but much better than Tito Santana vs Reno Riggins. Action action action and I can dig it.
  • Aside from the fact that CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are both complete idiots, this AJ angle is great stuff. This is what I would expect World Class to be like in 2012, except she'd actually cut herself. Michael Cole saying AJ is a teenager added to the scummery of all this -- unless we're supposed to think CM Punk in his "yay America!" outfit is a 21-year-old edgy hipster, then he's a guy in his 30s with bags under his eyes trying to get his fuck on with this girl. His turn to saying she needs professional help was unconvincing. He still wants to get his dick wet. Daniel Bryan just IS a scumbag, so he's not coming out of this weird. But Punk is. Michael Cole hit on her, too, so he's obviously been hanging with Lawler too long.
  • The battle royal was OK. Zack Ryder won it. Booker T said baby 30 times.
  • Mixed tag matches generally suck, and Khali/Layla vs Cesaro/Aksana was no different. It's nice to see Claudio getting a chance here, but why Khali still exists is beyond me.
  • 13 years later, they just cannot let go of Schiavone's "that'll put butts in seats" comment. 
  • Santino + Slaughter + Duggan vs Hunico + Mahal + McIntyre wasn't really bad, but it wasn't good.
  • Ryback just sucks. All that RRGH face-making shit doesn't work for me anymore.

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