Monday, July 16, 2012

Scott Watches WWE Raw #999 (July 16, 2012)

  • CM Punk comes out for one of his edgy promos where he tells the fans he loves them and shit. Big Show comes out to burst his bubble a bit. It is fine because they are both fine.
  • R-Truth & Kofi Kingston beat the Prime Time Players. It wasn't nearly as awful as last night's PTP match against Primo & Epico, and was in fact fairly watchable. Titus O'Neil is the worst non-Sin Cara wrestler on the roster, but he was wisely hidden here. It wasn't really good, but I try to put things that just aren't bad into Good.
  • Speaking of which, Daniel Bryan apologizes to AJ backstage. He seems sincere. He's probably not, but he seems like he is. Eve says that payback is...what AJ is. Payback is CUTE
  • Alberto Del Rio squashes Zack Ryder. I approve because I do not like Zack Ryder.
  • Miz & Eve lose to Bryan & AJ. Who's the good guy? Bryan, I guess, even though he cheated to win here. After their match, Daniel Bryan tells AJ he loves her. BIG MONEY GOT A RING THIS TIME! He proposes again. Crowd not buying it. she said yes! she said yes! MACHO MAN-ELIZABETH ALL OVER AGAIN! Then I learn on Twitter that they'll be getting married next week.
  • Dolph Ziggler comes out with Vickie, who repeats names of men he's better than. "Bret Hart! Stone Cold!" Chris Jericho interrupts. Ziggler insults him for a couple minutes, Jericho says nothing, then hits the codebreaker. This was great, because Ziggler is good at everything, and I'd really like something fresh for Jericho.
  • Brodus Clay squashes JTG. Why not put it here? It didn't harm me.
  • CM Punk and Big Show have a lot of chemistry, as CM Punk is totally willing to be the little turd getting smashed by the giant. Big Show working him over with body shots is a nice touch, taking away even Punk's speed and working on Punk's injuries from last night. Punk ducking KO punch and going into series of kicks and nasty knees to the face kicks fucking ass. But he can't put him down because this is the time of year Big Show is serious and invincible. Big Show gets DQ'd for shoving the referee.
  • Punk vs Cena next week. Can y'all dig it? We can dig it.
  • Good news! You can skip the start of next week's tiresome, exhausting, terrible idea 3-hour Raw, because it's just a "DX Reunion." I hope Chyna is there!!
  • This week, Heath Slater was squashed by Rikishi, who is still doing that to his hair, and even still owns that t-shirt. WWE was too cheap to spring for Too Cool to return for the post-match dance, so the Usos joined instead. I don't give a fuck about the Usos.
  • Ryback

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