Sunday, July 1, 2012

Scott Watches WCW Worldwide (May 21, 1994)

Slamboree '94 is next for the big shows, and I'm just not feeling like watching Slamboree '94 yet, so here's 46 minutes of Worldwide nonsense from Disney-MGM Studios. Let's see what we have!

IT'S MAY MAYHEM MONTH! Coming Up: Flyin' Brian! Round 4 of that Regal-Flair thing! DREAM MATCH from Dusty Rhodes: Ron Simmons vs Maxx Payne! IN A STREET FIGHT! That dirtyol Maxx Payne!

Flyin' Brian vs Coconut Savage

Coconut is a good 5'5". Nice to hear Ventura. Too bad he hated working here and had to be replaced by Heenan, who by this point was way behind Ventura in quality. The Coco-Nut Savage wears no boots so even though he's dastardly here I know he likes to party IRL. His chinlock is well-applied. I can say that for him. The Pavlovian audience does a remarkable job saying boo right on cue and cheering every half-assed thing Pillman does, including a leapfrog. Tony and Ventura have about 30x the chemistry that Tony and Heenan ever developed. Watching these shows again it has hit me how shitty Heenan was for the most part in WCW. He was actually best when he got to team up with Dusty and the two of them would fuck around and drive T-Bone Schiavone batty. Flying dropkick from Pillman ends it and everyone is very excited. I miss Pillman's Bengal speedos. Apparently the Coconut Savage stood up during the replay of the finish because they started booing again.

Here's Mean Gene. He's with Larry Zbyszko, and it's your typical pompous Zbyszko bullshit. But even though I say that every time, he's great on the mic in this angle. "I'm a Polack from the hills of Pennsylvania."

Marquess of Queensbury Cup, Round 4: Lord Steven Regal vs Ric Flair

Flair has a mystery opponent coming up at Slamboree, while Regal has the Polack from the hills of Pennsylvania. This round will be scored by Jimmy Jett, Terry Taylor, and Craig Pittman. Awesome fucking panel. They're tied 1-1-1 going into this round. This is great fun, really. I mean it's not much to describe, but the two of them provide totally different stuff from the rest of every show. Regal dropping him with European uppercuts. They announce a draw, which is absurd. Regal was robbed.

Cactus Jack & Kevin Sullivan vs Mike Thor & Ron Oakes

Before this match, we leave the studio and leave Tony and Jesse, and we come back to Bischoff and the Brain hosting outside at the New York street deal on the MGM lot. Oakes takes a little from both, and then Thor, the idiot, willingly tags himself in to get pummelized. Jack and Sullivan exhibit the sort of teamwork that makes me think this makeshift duo just might be a major threat to the seasoned partnership of The Nasty Boys come Slamboree. TREEAWOE! And Thor takes the pin. Oakes checks on him -- these two are buddies, despite appearing to have nothing in common.

Dustin Rhodes talks to Mean Gene about the bullrope match. WHAT in the WORLD is a bull-rope match?

Street Fight: Ron Simmons vs Maxx Payne

Granted I took about five months or so away from doing this, but it seemed like I hadn't watched a Ron Simmons match in a while. I was right -- the last Simmons match on these shows I've watched was Simmons vs Ice Train on Jan. 27, 1994, at Clash XXVI. They spill to the floor pretty quickly and Maxx takes a board to him, which Simmons repays with a nice solid shot to the back. That board sounds awesome. Back in and Payne hits a powerslam. Simmons tries to leave but that just leads to more brawling on the road. And then they're back in the ring. Simmons takes his belt off and uses that kind of, and then Payne gets a ... running sleeper. Jawbreaker counter. Simmons takes the belt to him. There's not much to this. This is nowhere near as good as the Vader vs Payne match. This is more your standard Maxx Payne stuff, and Simmons isn't actually very good, so Maxx can only do so much with him. Simmons hits him with a hammer to win and then he holds people down in the back ahh politics

Heenan and Okerlund trick people into thinking Flair will face Hulk Hogan at Slamboree.

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