I had a long write-up of this show about 75% done, then my laptop crashed and I lost it, so this one is going to be much shorter than normal as I'm far too lazy to retype it all.
Show opens with Shawn Michaels giving an interview outside before being jumped by Mr. Perfect and then thrown into and onto a car. That'll come into play in the lumberjack match with Jim Duggan for sure.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon
Things involving big fat guys have always done great for Tape Machines Are Rolling. Bam Bam Bigelow is our #2 incoming search term in the site's history and Scott's countdown of the 10 best big fat heels still does good traffic. So this is a TMAR special.
It's also a mostly awkward match that Bigelow wins to become the KOTR tournament's big fat guy.
Smoking Guns promo video time! It made me laugh!
Yokozuna vs. P.J. Walker
Quick squash match, but god damn did Yoko have a kick ass belly-to-belly for a massive fat dude. Yoko will be one of the lumberjacks later tonight and don't forget, he and Hacksaw have history. Duggan got squished by Yoko multiple times with the American flag draped over him a few months back.
Mr. Perfect vs. Iron Mike Sharpe
Mike Sharpe remains the noisiest wrestler on the roster. Getting chopped? ARGH! Getting pulled forward? ARGH! Bodyslam? ARGH!
This turns into Perfect doing his thing where he just wants to put on a good match so he gives Sharpe a lot of offense. Then all of a sudden it turns into a kickass chop war before settling back down and ending. I mean, not a classic or anything, but way better than you'd expect from a matchup like this on Raw.
Mr. Hughes vs. Cannonball Kid
See, he's Cannonball kid now, after Kamakaze Kid didn't work out well for him last week. It doesn't do too much better this week either as it's Hughes very slowly beating him up. Power move! Stop! Scowl! Look around! Wait! DO IT AGAIN! Mr. Hughes is fuck terrible.
Lumberjack Match for the WWF Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Jim Duggan
The lumberjacks come out all in flannel shirts, because it's a lumberjack match and what would you do without suffocating literalism? Michaels comes out on crutches from the Perfect attack but after being attacked again, forgets about pretending to be hurt and the match is on.
It's all Duggan dominating for the longest time before Shawn ends up using his boot to get the edge. They go almost 20 minutes before Shawn knees Duggan in the back and tosses him outside where Yokozuna (the one lumberjack not wearing flannel, which I find very sad) drops a big leg and rolls Duggan back in. Michaels goes for the pin, Perfect jumps in the ring and attacks him for the DQ and suddenly everyone is in the ring and it's a wild brawl until Duggan clears the ring with his 2x4.
It didn't help that the lumberjacks were super tame. Just rollin' guys back in when they went to the outside.
Sorry this one kind of sucked! Next one tomorrow!