Thursday, June 28, 2012

Brent Watches WWF Raw (May 3, 1993)

I'm sadly excited to get past this show as the quality of my videos increases significantly. But here we are, King of the Ring qualifiers start tonight and the Intercontinental Championship will be defended. Oh, actually, that's first!

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

It's really hard to separate WWF Duggan from the Mid-South Duggan that I love so much. But once the matches start, it's not too hard to figure out which is which.

What wins a shootout between Duggan's 2x4 when he treats it like a gun and Batista's machine gun laser arms?

Hacksaw stops a "USA" chant to...start another "USA" chant. And Shawn is very upset as he can't concentrate through all the noise. It's pretty great that Duggan still had the ability to work the crowd up without doing anything. And Shawn loves to bump around for clotheslines, which Duggan can do pretty damn well...nevermind, third one in the sequence kinda sucked. Jabs and a big right by Duggan and Shawn is flipping around and he's going to try to head backstage before Duggan chases him down.

Michaels finally takes over after a commercial break. Duggan throws a lot of punches at air and can't land anything as Shawn is now just too quick. Shit gets all awful as the match wears on and the lack of chemistry really becomes clear. Neither of these dudes is right for working with the other. Hacksaw is giving it a go and everything. Michaels has no real interest in allowing him to have any prolonged offense now after giving him the early part of the match.

Michaels chickenshit runs away again, this time getting clotheslined over the guardrail and allowing Duggan to win by countout. What...what a stupid fucking decision. Duggan thinks that the WWF "got this one wrong" because Michaels ran away. Now he throws a few chairs in the ring and now sits in one in the middle of the ring, waiting for Michaels to come back. This is the longest damn segment ever. So much Duggan. So we go backstage for a King of the Ring Report! Brought to you by ICOPRO! Do it like Crush does it!

Mister Perfect and Doink wrestled to a draw on Superstars! That being said, Luger and Bret Hart are in! Hogan vs. Yokozuna! It's gonna be a happening, folks!

El Matador vs. Razor Ramon, this week on Superstars in a qualifying match! Papa Shango against Hacksaw on Wrestling Challenge in a qualifier!

Duggan is out of the ring calling Jack Tunney wanting a decision made.

Doink vs. Kamikaze Kid

Oh, hey! Waltman! Doink is all belly-to-belly suplexes and stomps on his face. Kid is a'screamin away with Doink wrapping him up in an STF. Now a stump puller for the submission. That was quick!

Bob Backlund vs. Dwayne Gil

Jesus, it's a regular jobber superstar lineup. Backlund wants to shake hands, but the ridiculous lookin Gil wants one of it. Who would have guessed that this fella would end up as the mystery opponent on the first wrestling show that Scott and I ever watched together (1998 Survivor Series). This is the usual Backlund nonsense.

They announce that there will be a rematch between Michaels and Duggan and it will be a lumberjack match next week. Well, that'll be something to look forward to I guess.

This is a mat wrestling filled boring as shit mess. Backlund shows Gil what's what with...a bridging pin.

More mic time for Duggan. Jesus Christ. More talking about the Michaels rematch.

The Smoking Gunns shoot some cans and they wanna find some tag team excitement. They shoot a cactus.

Captain Lou Albano is there as a special surprise.

The Headshrinkers vs. Some Guys

Jobber team's names aren't put on the screen and I can't hear the announcement. Captain Lou says he's on ICOPRO! Lou and Bobby argue on commentary. The Headshrinkers whip some ass and I feel robbed of quality Headshrinker time. Then again, they knew how to lay in a quality beating. Bout ta kicked his damn head off. Now bout ta kicked the other guy's damn head off. Spike piledriver and this is just a beating and a half. I think they hurt the black guy when Fatu kicked him in the face because he just seems to have disappeared since. Top rope splash finally finishes it. (the internet tells me the other team was Jay Sledge & Jim Bell)

It appears the end of this episode was cut off for me as Kamala had a squash match at the end of the show. Oh well, I'll live.

After feeling like we were on the uptick after last week's show, this week's was a pile of crap. Duggan vs. Michaels is not a good enough mini-feud to carry a show, let alone be built into something that needs to carry the next week as well. But it is what we got, so...there ya go. Best match of the show was the Headshrinker squash.

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