Wednesday, December 14, 2011

WCCW Christmas Star Wars 1981

Last night I watched one of those "indy wrestling is hard, you guys" documentaries on Netflix called Card Subject to Change. It was alright. I liked Kevin Sullivan more after watching it, even though I still think he sucks.

And now I'm in the mood to watch some wrestling. It's been gnawing at me just a bit lately to do something, so I'm going into this stupid ass WWE Classics thing I pay for but never, ever watch, and I was hoping a little by God World Class Championship Wrestling would be in there, and it is.

So let's talk about some Christmas Star Wars '81.

By the way, I've totally given up on watching that bullshit they put on the TV anymore. It's not wrestling and it sucks. It's some kind of reality TV sitcom nonsense. Fuck it.

This is live from the magnificent Reunion Arena in Dallas. Two rings. Hot damn.

Brass Knuckles Championship: Ernie Ladd (c) vs Jose Lothario

Goddamn it, I didn't sign up to watch Jose Lothario. This is a highly revered title in the world of rassling, says Bill Mercer, and he also notes that Lothario was a fantastic boxer in his youth. I have my doubts. Lothario goes into an early bear fuck hug. Goddamn you, Jose Lothario, you dumb son of a bitch.

By the way, I was trying to watch that Bret Hart-Shawn Michaels DVD they put out recently, after I downloaded them shits, and oh my God, could those two get any more goddamn boring? Jesus Christ. Googly eyes Shawn doesn't have the balls to be honest about anything and I needed another Bret Hart talking about himself in reverent tones interview about as bad as I needed the bear fuck hugs in this match.

Lothario with some punches and Ladd eventually slumps down into the corner. eventually Lothario wins because Ernie Ladd doesn't feel like moving around very much. This was a poor effort from Ernie Ladd, all things considered.

Light Heavyweight Championship: Killer Tim Brooks vs El Solitario (c)

Killer Tim Brooks is pretty rad, though his Wikipedia page has recently been vandalized, which is a real shame. El Solitario does some fine early work, out-quicking Killer Tim before being smacked so hard he winds up on his ass. Tim Brooks bleeds because why the fuck wouldn't you? Hey, El Solitario wins with a flying cross body. Well I'll be.

Texas Death Match: The Great Kabuki (w/Gary Hart) vs Fritz Von Erich

"These two hate each other to a point of war." Kabuki is wearing a 300-year-old samurai warrior uniform. But then he just has yellow pajama pants. Fritz goes right to the claw on the stomach because he's only got so much to do in 1981.

Crowd's hot but I think this kind of sucks. I don't know. I'm out of wrestling practice so I'm not sure if this sucks for sure but I'm pretty certain that it does in most ways, though Fritz clawing Kabuki works well enough for me. Fuck do I know? I can't star rate a damn thing these days. I hear all kinds of matches are "awesome" and then I see them and they're no Jimmy Garvin or whatever. Fritz gets the win via pinfall with the claw at just over 10 minutes. Good for you, Fritz. Good for you, you marvelous and decent man. Fritz claws the dude for another 27 years while Bronco Lubich is like "hey stop it. please. please. please. please. please. please. please. please. ya got any smokes. please. please. please."

And then eventually Hart and Kabuki manage to slowly beat on Frtiz or another hour or 12. So eventually they're both all laid out on the apron and Lubich's buzz starts to fade so he just says the first guy to get to his feet wins. I think Kabuki won but I looked away. Yeah, Kabuki won, losing his first Texas Death Match. Kevin, w/jacket, comes out to assist.

David & Kevin & Kerry Von Erich vs Wild Bill Irwin & Frank Dusek & Ten Gu

This is some shit. I sit through all this to get Bill Irwin and Frank Dusek and Ten Gu? Whatever, some shit happens and the Von Erich Boys win the match because the other three suck.

Some Kind of Fucking Battle Royal

Fattest guy (Big Daddy Bundy) wins. Irwin is the last man out. So Wild Bill got some spotlight here. Mercer revealed a lot of Irwin's insecurities during this show, such as his disdain for his birth name (Chauncey) and the fact that he needs someone cheering him on, which Dusek does during the battle royal.

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