Friday, December 30, 2011

2011 PWI 500 Project: Shockwave the Robot (#475)

475. Shockwave the Robot

Shockwave the Robot vs Bobby Ocean (BTW)

Big Time Wrestling from Ogdensburg, New York, on October 2.

You know, if Jim Herd had introduced a wrestling robot it would be the worst joke in the history of mankind, but some doofus does it in indy wrestling and it's awesome. It's kind of like Chikara; for some reason people are supposed to take everything in the WWF or WCW seriously, but if it's Chikara or that HUSTLE shit or some indy mess, it's like, "LMAO! I understand humor!" But no one really does.

Anyway, I've never seen Shockwave the Robot, and I'm not trying to slam the idea right off. Maybe it is funny. I'm OK with funny. I don't mind comedy wrestling. But it has to actually be funny. Just being like "you guys this is stupid right! remember WWF Wrestling Buddies? LOL!" isn't good enough. That just makes you Joey Styles, and nobody wants to be Joey Styles. HE JUST PEED HIS PANTS!!!!

So is he really a robot or not? Because he appears to just be a wrestler who comes out in a robot suit and then has a normal wrestling match in wrestling gear that makes him kinda sort look like a robot. I just need to know if Shockwave is, in fact, a robot. If so, why does he take the "armor" off and walk all robot-like before he wrestles? If NOT, why does he WEAR the armor?

Is Shockwave an advanced enough robot that he, you know, breathes air, and holds his hands on his hips when he needs to catch his robot breath, but also understands while in his robot armor before the match he needs to walk all robotic, like people expect a robot to walk? Is this robot working the rubes?

He can dance.

Shockwave is a perfectly talented professional wrestler and Bobby Ocean is good here. Shockwave apparently has neck muscles and shit that get hurt. Or perhaps those were circuits...aching him.

I'm just, like. Dude. I really need to know if he's actually a robot is all. Or if the understanding is that he is a man, but pretends to be a robot and dresses like one because he's really weird.

Sometimes he acts like a robot, but sometimes he does not. A robot likely would kip-up on the first try. Anyway Shockwave wins, but I'm perplexed. The match was fine, pretty good, whatever. IS HE A FUCKING ROBOT OR NOT?

Related: Shockwave the Robot Official Site

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