Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011 PWI 500 Project: Gino Martino (#500)

Yeah this is happening.

500. Gino Martino

Gino Martino vs Kyle Hartley (IWE, Nov. 19)

Gino Martino apparently has a thick skull or some such. "Strongest head in the world" - he's "The Human Anvil." Some kind of world record for breaking cement on his skull. IWE is based in Maine and this is for their TV title, held by the incredibly pale Kyle Hartley. HEY REFEREE watch that pat down, buddy. This commentator is talking but I basically can't pay attention to him - it's not that he's so bad or something, it's just that he's hard to focus on as he just kind of keeps talking into a cheap microphone. blahblahblahblah GINO MARTINO POWERS OUT OF THAT SENDS KYLE hartley intotheblahblahblah

Gino Martino is not in the prime of his career. Or perhaps he is. I'm getting an indy Scott Norton vibe, for the obvious reasons; big, huge motherfucker, salt of the earth strong, not all gassed up and veiny and "muscular," could kick the shit out of most of these gassed up goons. I like the spot where Gino tosses Hartley by his moronic tuft of chest hair.

Is Hartley working some kind of gimmick with his tights? The motherfucker's got underwear coming out of them. Is that just because he's foolish, or is that a thing he does? I can imagine really liking Gino Martino if IWE were my local indy and I went to all the shows and shit like that. He seems friendly.

You have to wonder if Kyle Hartley dying his hair like that and shaving his chest like that and buying those underpants to fall out of his little trunks like that is "all worth it" during the rest of his life. Is he living his dream with this? Wrestling is awesome.

Hartley goes up top for a missile dropkick and almost crashes his head through the ceiling, but he hits it and gets two. Hartley with a DDT. That ring looks stupid unforgiving, but of course Martino's skull is too thick to be affected. Hartley kicks him in the head twice. No effect. So he makes a quick comeback, but then accidentally squishes the referee, and Hartley cracks him with the belt, BUT YOU CAN'T HURT HIS HEAD YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Martino runs at Hartley with a headbutt to the...armpit? and gets the win when another referee comes in. I'm guessing Dusty finish here as Gino celebrates at ringside.

Yeah, that's what we get, a goddamned Dusty finish. Hopefully that works on the little kids in Wherethefuck, Maine, but most chant "bullshit." It's not 1987 anymore.

That's kind of a fuckin awesome gig though, right? The wrestler whose skull can't be hurt?

Related: Gino Martino Official Site / IWE Official Site

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