Sunday, January 23, 2011

Scott Watches Clash of the Champions XIX

The NWA is back (in affiliation)! Bill Watts is in effect! I hope you like the 70s! That video explains some shit! Whatever!

June 16 (aired June 22) at The Citadel's McAllister Field House in Charleston, South Carolina. Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura are ringside to call all the exciting action.

Joe & Dean Malenko v. Ricky Steamboat & Nikita Koloff

The Malenkos (from Florida) are actually representing Hungary, but it's announced as "Europe." The Steamboat/Koloff team is unseeded, with the Malenkos at No. 7, because yada yada. Why am I trying to tell you things you don't care about that you know will have no bearing on anything and don't matter? Ricky and Joe start off with some hold-tradin'. Steamboat gets the better of that, and gets the better of Dean before tagging out to the powerhouse Nikita. Nikita puts on an exciting bearhug. Fans are already expecting something more than that, but nope. Since these are NWA-sanctioned matches (God), you can still use the top rope, so Dean does to jump into Nikita's waiting arms. Koloff flings Dean from mid-ring to the floor on a kickout. Dean runs through a dropkick and a snap suplex, but Nikita isn't going to bother with selling that nonsense. Nikita's strong. Joe gets back in to be put into compelling Ricky Steamboat armbars, but that's quick and Dean's back in to be Dean Malenko all over the place. This is decent but would probably be better if there was any drama whatsoever. Or if WCW had signed the Malenkos after this solid performance. Nikita gets in and shows once more that he is very strong. Sickle finishes things and the team that was obviously going to win obviously wins. Ventura tries to convince us this was an upset. No dice, Body.

Ravishing Rick Rude & Stunning Steve Austin v. Z-Man & Marcus Alexander Bagwell

Austin has the TV title back. Didn't take long. If both Dangerous Alliance teams win tonight, they'll face off in the quarterfinals at The Great American Bash. The Dangerous Alliance win with some mild cheating, even though they should just win clean because they're about 1779304 times better than Zenk and Bagwell.


Gordy: "Australia? Who cares about Australia, or way down under, nobody cares about Australia. Hey, come on, let's face it, man. The whole world, everybody sittin' out right there, they wanna see Dr. Death Steve Williams, Terry Gordy go against the Steiners. They don't wanna see Terry Gordy and Steve Williams go against a buncha Australians, man. C'mon, let's get it together, Steiners. We're ready. Let's do it."

Williams: "STEINERS, STEINERS, STEINERS, STEINERS. All I get to hear is Steiners, Steiners! I'm startin' to get a headache, Terry! You know what? I'm from Oklahoma. And when we're from Oklahoma and you hear about somebody plays for Michigan, some kind of athletic sport, all you think about is (bleeped) -- aw, I can't say that on TV, but I'm just tired of it! It just gets me goin'! Steiners! Steiners! We're gonna see who's the number one team!"

Steve Williams & Terry Gordy v. The O'Days

Larry O'Day is close to 50 here and would sadly pass away just five years after this. They have a couple fans in the front row. Those people are going to be really disappointed. Gordy and Williams are announced as being from Nagoya. Papa Larry starts with Gordy and grabs a side headlock. That doesn't last. Papa Larry tags out moments later, and young Jeff O'Day is going to come in to meet Dr. Death, which doesn't go well, and his introduction to Terry Gordy doesn't go a whole lot better. The amount of outclassing here is kind of unfortunate. Oh, Lord, Papa Larry gets dumped on his dome. Then he's recipient of a double shoulder tackle, and this is just sort of sad. OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE!!! That'll do it for...that.

Jesse interviews Sting. We see highlights of Big Van Vader assaulting Sting recently. Sting says he's not David to Vader's Goliath. Sting keeps the promo short which is...good.

Dustin Rhodes & Barry Windham v. Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton

That goddamn Barry Windham, he's still milking that right hand with all the tape. You can't trust this fuckin' guy. Just...just somethin' off about Barry Windham. I feel like Windham-Anderson never got explored quite enough as a singles rivalry. That '91 TV match they had was incredible and they start off nasty here with Barry bulling Arn around, and Anderson coming back driving his shoulder into Windham's stomach repeatedly. Barry with the big right hand, and Arn does one of his great fall on your ass sells. These two were amazing together. HEY! Barry Windham would be a nice secondary Hall of Fame addition this year. Someone make an online petition.

More or less your standard match with these four guys at the time, which means it's pretty damn good. Arn lays in some of the most convincing head stomps on Dustin that you'll ever see. Rhodes gets the pin on Eaton with a bulldog, so now Dangerous Alliance showdown at GAB. Awwww beans.

Eric and Missy are here to discuss New Japan's tournament to crown a new NWA heavyweight champion. HEY! I really don't hate this new Missy Hyatt who actually acts like a human being. It's amazing! Gordy and Williams are here. Gordy gets on the mic for magic. "There have been a BAAAD WRECK!" and "I'm talkin' 'bout a Puerto Rican wreck!" We was just like 911! We was the first ones on the scene! Williams is also nuts. Anyway, the Puerto Ricans, who were to face the Steiners, have been injured mysteriously. This is novel heel tactics for WCW, a couple of badasses with balls who don't want to avoid the top babyfaces, they want to face them head on.

The Fabulous Freebirds v. Silver King & El Texano

...Freebirds win. An embarrassing match. Amazingly, the Freebirds are not up to speed on what the Silver Kings do.

Tony and Magnum T.A. discuss the situation with the Puerto Ricans. Senior referee Ole Anderson is here to mumble, which is better than his refereeing.

Flyin' Brian & "Jushin" Thunder Liger v. Beef Wellington & Chris Benoit

Four guys with Stampede connections, four guys who came here to chew bubblegum and the other thing and the bubblegum is at least running low. Benoit and Liger make this thing go big-time, and the match is one of those rare occasions where the action really makes itself. Everyone's willingness to run concrete floor bumps helps, but mostly it's Liger and Benoit, including an Asai moonsault by Liger onto Benoit. Wellington and Pillman hold up their ends and then some. All four also take liberal advantage of the fact that the NWA rules allow for top-rope maneuvers. Pillman and Liger get the win in a terrific, excellent, kickass, motherfucker of a match.

Hiroshi Hase & Akira Nogami v. The Headhunters

That's not the big fatass Headhunters, but a couple of clearly white guys representing the Dominican Republic. The murderers of the auto industry win with German suplays.

Back from break, and Jesse is going to bring out Ron Simmons. Here! Here it is!

I don't care what no one says, that's good wrestling. Meltzer complained a lot around the time about how WCW was behind the times because they made note that Ron Simmons was black, like nobody noticed, or like it might not be a great story for Ron Simmons: Black Guy to win the world title in what was a traditionally cracker-centric industry. Plus I can't see the harm here. He gets insulted by Race, whose character IS behind the times, so he fucks up two dudes.

Do you have your W.C.W. Magazine Poster Book?

Tony is with Bill Watts. NWA and WCW officials have met in the back. Watts has gone ahead and told the NWA President, hey. Buddy. Fuck yourself. I'm Cowboy Bill Watts, you pussy. I'm putting my foot down! So we have a main event, and it's SECOND ROUND TIME.

Steve Williams & Terry Gordy v. The Steiner Brothers

Rick and Gordy start with some amateur takedown jive and lots of rope breaks. Scott and Dr. Death do some of the same, and now we have all four in the ring being surly and staring down. Now that we've established that neither team is going to budge easily, Rick tags in and tosses Williams in a belly-to-belly. Now back to the amateur shoving stuff. NOW it turns into a fight after Doc gets a little nasty. Doc gets nastier and drills Rick with a lariat. Gordy gets in with one of his own. Scott turns the tide. This match is just a puuuure pro rasslin struggle of four competitors who won't back down. This is roughly as close to Ring of Honor as the big two ever really got. Scott gets his knee clipped by Gordy, and Williams gets the pin. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a little disappointing all things considered, but I'd also be being a little negative for no good reason. Already done did it, though.

Tony is with Magnum T.A., and Magnum ... says nothing of note! Back to Jim and Jesse, who give some closing thoughts. "First time," says Jesse, "I've ever seen the Steiner Brothers defeated." He later adds, "Third time I've ever seen the Steiner Brothers."

1 comment:

  1. Interesting fact: Chris Benoit and Beef Wellington died on the same day, though obviously the one greatly overshadowed the other.