Tuesday, July 14, 2009

They Look Like Baryshnikov in Stripes

1. The Killer Bees vs. Iron Mike Sharpe and Tiger Chung Lee

So I've always had this thing where I really dig the Bees but I insist on them so hard that it forces my friends to claim that they're worse than they actually are to offset it. The change in tights here was a bit...unfortunate. As were the little boot things. Slick gets a little hype time for the WM3 match where his Volkoff/Sheik combo would be taking on the Bees but claims that they will make honey out of the Bees. Which shows a profound lack of understanding of the honey making process.

As much as I love The Killer Bees I can't really excuse B. Brian Blair's arm wave armbreaker thing off the second rope at like 1:58 of the video. Nor can I excuse his flying ass attack toward the end of the match. Fuck it, Brunzell carried these two. They're still awesome though.

2. Tatanka vs. Damian Demento

I remember really wanting Damian Demento to be cool because of this one issue of the WWF Magazine I had as a kid that made him seem like he could be kind of badass. Instead in practice he was just a guy who would occasionally go "Oh shit, that's right...I'm crazy" and talk to himself.

Honestly for an opening match for a show this was perfectly fine. I just never liked when Tatanka would do his version of "hulking up." That whole "no sell, comeback, finish" thing worked for Hogan but for most everyone else it just felt like a lazy excuse to not have to build the last segment of a match.

3. Tommy Rich vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Yeah, there isn't a lot to say about this match. Rich was kind of limited in what he could do so we get a lot of punching and Bigelow eats too much of a beating to really come across as enough of a monster. The finish is a cop out but at least we get Bam Bam going "aaaaah! I'll kill everybody!" which is a gem.

The most charming thing about the video is that it has tracking issues so it feels like being a kid and renting a way overused wrestling tape where you spent the whole event in front of your VCR fiddling with the tracking knob. The younger kids out there probably think this sounds like a pain in the ass, and it was...but it was a right of passage for wrestling fans and the fact that no effort has to be put into getting most of wrestling history nowadays kind of pisses me off. But that's just jealousy I suppose.

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