Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Run him into the washing machine if it's down there

1. Arn Anderson v. Tim Horner (May 27, 1995)

Tony and the Brain are really chipping away at one another here. They were a fine commentary team. For as much shit as everyone used to give Tony Schiavone, I'll take him every day of the week and twice on Sunday over anyone working for WWE today except maybe Jim Ross' good days. I actually quite miss Tony Schiavone. He was pretty good. Way better than Mike Tenay, too.

This is a shorter match than the video suggests. Anderson pretty well squashes Horner out. Did you know Tim Horner was the 430th best singles wrestler of the "PWI Years"? It's true! You also get an Arn promo (always good) and some information on the VHS release of Richie Rich.

2. Owen Hart v. Ken Shamrock in the Dungeon

When Owen Hart died, he was legitimately my favorite wrestler. ALL of my friends and acquaintances watched wrestling at that point. There were like 10 or so of us that would always be talking about it, and my love of Owen Hart was a distinctive trait. I remember one dude, like, consoled me the next day, not that I was so horribly upset, but clearly pro wrestling was a big part of my life at the time.

If he had gone on, he probably would've stopped being my favorite wrestler. Though his tag team with Jeff Jarrett was good, I hated Jeff Jarrett with a passion, and frankly Owen wasn't that great. I used to say that Owen was to Bret what Chris Jericho was to Chris Benoit, but people don't like talking about Chris Benoit nowadays. Watching Owen now, there's a real sissy-assedness to everything he did in his WWF days, like he didn't want to 100% commit to any single piece of the match or like he wasn't putting in maximum effort. For a guy whose athleticism was one of his strengths, he wasn't that natural in the ring.

That all sounds incredibly mean considering no one on earth has a bad word to say about Owen Hart, but he just hasn't held appeal for me over the years.

And all that has nothing to do with this match, which was weird then and is even weirder now. They really go for it for the most part, but it's just so out there. LET'S HAVE 'EM FIGHT IN A BASEMENT!

3. Ultimo Dragon v. Rey Misterio Jr. (World War 3)

I still say this is the best WCW cruiser match ever, better than the more famous Eddie-Rey Halloween Havoc match. This match is fuck nasty good. 13 stars.

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