Saturday, July 11, 2009

Badstreet Motherfucking USA

I have owned a handful of wrestling shirts.
  1. Chris Hero shirt bought at an IWA Mid-South show.
  2. Matt Sydal shirt bought at an IWA Mid-South show, which referee Bryce Remsburg tried to get off of me in trade for one of his t-shirts promoting his really shitty, unfunny comedy troupe. Sorry, Bryce. Great referee, but comedy is hard.
  3. Rey Mysterio Jr. shirt bought for me at WWE Niagara Falls or whatever the hell it was by my aunt. This was lucky -- Rey was one of the only guys in WWE I liked at the time.
  4. Outsiders shirt (the original that just said "Outsiders" in red/orange). I don't know where this is. The first time I touched a real, live titty, it came because a girl stayed over and slept in this shirt, which had a hole in the armpit juuuuust big enough for me to fit a finger through. NIPPLE CITY!
  5. I had a Shawn Michaels shirt that was also a gift. I fucking hated Shawn Michaels.
  6. nWo Wolfpac shirt featuring (as best I recall) Kevin Nash, Konnan, Sting, Lex Luger and Randy Savage. Weird shirt. Terrible shirt, honestly.
  7. Eddie Guerrero memorial shirt. I had to have it. I will always own it.
  8. Badstreet USA shirt. Fuck your mother this shirt is awesome. I sought this shirt out on Highspots after watching lots of Freebirds in WCCW. I remembered their WCW run (Hayes/Garvin) and thought Hayes was cool, but I was only familiar with the Gordy/Roberts/Hayes years by reputation. Once I saw them, I knew this was it. These were the pro wrasslers made for me. It's a shame I didn't grow up elsewhere or earlier. I wore this shirt as an undershirt to Brent's wedding. It came out at the bar after the reception.
Point is, I'm drunk off my ass, just ate Taco Bell, and when I wake up, I'm gonna be on Badstreet USA.

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